50 New Year’s Jokes To Start 2025 on a Hi-larious Note

It may feel like 2024 just began, but the calendar tells a different story! With 2025 just around the corner, it’s time to start planning for New Year’s Eve. If you’re reflecting on your New Year’s resolutions, props to you—those goals can be really meaningful. But if you need a little reminder to keep things fun and fresh, this list has got you covered! Ahead, you'll find a clever compilation of hilarious New Year’s jokes to help you kick off the year with laughter and smiles.

These funny one-liners, dad jokes, and puns are guaranteed to make the New Year that much sweeter. Ask the kids why snowmen don't go to a New Year's party (they want to chill out!) or what a ghost says on New Year's ("Happy boo year"). You might even make New Year's Eve games out of it. Make everyone at the party crack a smile when you tell them your resolution for the morning is to keep your cup half full... of coffee.

Even if you're not decorating for a party, you can still use these for holiday cards or New Year's Instagram captions. Reading them is only one of the many fun things to do on New Year's Eve. Just make sure you read these jokes through carefully, you wouldn't want to drop the ball! 😂

• What did the bull say on January 1? Happy New Steer.
• Why is New Year’s a slice of bread’s least favorite holiday? It has to make a toast.
• How did Prince celebrate the new millennium? He partied like it was 1999.
• What was the opening line of the spice rack’s New Year’s toast? "Cheers to the good thymes!"
• Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer? To start off the new year in a cool way.
• Why do birds fly south for New Year's Eve? Because it's too far to walk.
• What's the best New Year's resolution? 1080p.
• What’s a cow’s favorite holiday? Moo Year's Day!
• What do criminals pay on Jan. 1? New Year's restitution.
• What does a field grow on Jan. 1? New Year’s hay.
• What’s the one group that hates New Year’s Day? The New Year’s Eve cleanup crew.
• Why should you never anger fireworks on New Year's Eve? You might just set them off!
• What's the one type of pain that you'll welcome on New Year's Eve? Cham-pain!
• What is corn’s favorite holiday? New Ear's Day.
• Why was the Hershey bar bummed on New Year’s Eve? It got stuck waiting for a midnight Kiss.
• What’s the worst part of jogging on New Year’s Eve? The ice falling out of your drink!
• What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve? Social security.
• What's the luckiest band on New Year's Day? Black-Eyed Peas.
• My New Year's resolution is to have my cup half full... of champagne.

• Why did the woman start cracking up on New Year's? She saw her husband's resolutions!
• What was the optometrist's favorite New Year's celebration? 2020.
• How can you keep a New Year's resolution to read more while never opening a book? Watch TV with subtitles.
• Why is partying in Times Square overrated? The organizers drop the ball every year!
• Did you hear about the guy who started making breakfast at midnight on December 31? He wanted to make a New Year's toast!
• What's the difference between being young and old on New Year's? When you're young, you're allowed to stay up till 12, old age is when you're forced to.
• Which New Year's resolution is always successful? A resolution to break a resolution.
• What does every New Year have in store for us? Another 365 days!
• Why should you smooch an 8 on New Year's? It leaves room for growth.
• What do New Year's parades and Santa have in common? No one is ever awake to see them.

• Why didn't the snowman go to the party on New Year's Eve? He wanted to chill out.
• Where do you go to do math homework on New Year's? Times Square.
• What should a farmer give his wife at 12 a.m. on New Year's? Hogs and kisses.
• What was the caterpillar's New Year's resolution? It wanted to turn over a new leaf.
• What does a ghost say on New Year's? Happy boo year!
• What should you tell your friends at midnight on New Year's? "I haven't seen you since last year!"
• What did the kids say about the New Year's fireworks? They were a blast.
• Why should you sprinkle sugar on your pillow on New Year's Eve? To start the year with sweet dreams.
• What's a spider's New Year's resolution? To spend less time on the web!
• What was Frankenstein's New Year's resolution? To make new friends.
• Why did the girl score a B on her New Year's assignment? She was leaving room for growth!

• "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Howie." "Howie who?" "Howie going to stay up until midnight, you look tired already."
• "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Hannah." "Hannah who?" "Hannah Happy New Year!"
• "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Joe King." "Joe King who?" "Joking like this on New Year's Eve?"
• "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Radio." "Radio who?" "Radio not, it's a New Year."
• "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Abby." "Abby who?" "Abby New Year!"
  
• "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." "Ben who?" "Ben waiting for the ball to drop all day!"
• "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Razor." "Razor who?" "Razor glass to toast the new year!"
• "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Hippy." "Hippy who?" "Hippy New Year's, dude!"
• "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Sip." "Sip who?" "Sip, sip, hooray for New Year's!"
• "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Woo." "Woo who?" "Calm down, the ball hasn't dropped yet!"

Micaela Bahn

Micaela Bahn is a freelance editorial assistant and recent graduate from Carleton College, where she majored in English literature. She loves running, photography, and cooking the best new recipes.