75 Funny Valentine's Day Quotes to Make Your Sweetheart Laugh Out Loud

"The only bubble in the flat champagne of February is Valentine's Day."

"Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener."

“Romantic love is a mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one."

"Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position."

"The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone."

"My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me."

"My phone battery lasts longer than most of my relationships nowadays."

"One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry."

"Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day."

Never marry a man you wouldn't want to be divorced from.

“Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.”

“A man’s main job is to protect his woman from her desire to ‘get bangs’ every other month.”

"Love is a grave mental illness."

“There are only three things women need in life: food, water and compliments.”

"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."

“To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.”

“Without Valentine’s Day, February would be…well, January.”

“True love comes quietly without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.”

“The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24/7, 365 from birth until you fall in love.”

“The thing about Valentine's Day is that people discover who are single and who to feel jealous of.”