I got pregnant with our first child during our honeymoon. My man and I had decided to take the “let nature take its course” approach to family planning once we tied the knot. Now that I’m painfully aware of just how fertile I am, I laugh when I remember how “surprised” we were when the test came up positive. I guess that’ll tend to happen when you let nature take its course on a three-week honeymoon.
At any rate, I found myself giving birth to a baby about 9 1/2 months after our wedding day. Throughout the entire process, I went to great lengths to maintain a certain level of glamour and vanity. First, I made sure to get a great pedicure as my due date approached. Then, as soon as I realized I was in labor, I jumped in the shower, curled my hair, and primped like crazy up until we left for the hospital.
Even during labor, I attempted to remain the ever-fresh and vibrant new wife, going so far as ordering my husband to stay north of my shoulders during the birth and continually reapplying tinted lip balm so I wouldn’t look too pale. I also restrained myself during the pushing stage, afraid I’d lose control completely and inadvertently…(I can hardly even say it)…fart in front of him, which would be the kiss of death upon my pride and my marriage and then I’d just have to divorce him and start fresh with someone else. And I’m not kidding.
This restraint, it turned out, was not conducive to the birthing process, as my obstetrician sternly pointed out. “Ree,” he said, “You’re just going to have to let it go and push!” I did, and sure enough, our daughter entered the world immediately, accompanied by no embarrassing noises other than a couple of primal screams from my mouth.
I’d made it through. Over nine months and a normal delivery without the slightest flatulent slip-up in front of my lover. And we had a new little baby to boot. Life was good.
The next morning after the birth, Marlboro Man and I were sitting in the hospital room, admiring the beautiful being that our raucous honeymoon had produced. When the OB nurse walked in to assess my vitals, she began to ask me routine questions. I still cringe and cover my face when I recall the last part of the conversation:
Nurse: So, no pain?
Me: Nope. I feel great!
Nurse: No chills?
Me: Not at all.
Nurse: Have you been able to pass gas today?
*awkward ten-second pause*
Me: What?
Nurse: Have you been able to pass gas today?
*awkward ten-second pause*
Me: Wait…what?
Nurse: Have you been able to pass gas today?
Me: (Blank stare) I don’t…
Nurse: …pas gas? You? Today?
Me: I don’t…I don’t understand the question…
Nurse: Have you been able to…
Marlboro Man: (Loudly) Ree! She wants to know if you’ve been able to FART today!
__________________________
I pulled the covers over my head and suddenly wished I was eight, unmarried, childless, and anywhere else but there.
Ree Drummond is the founder of The Pioneer Woman and a lover of butter, basset hounds and life on the ranch! Ree started her blog in 2006, and now millions visit ThePioneerWoman.com every month for her trusted recipes and fun family stories. Here’s what she has been up to since it all began:
New York Times Bestselling Author
Ree has written two memoirs (Black Heels to Tractor Wheels, and Frontier Follies) plus nine bestselling cookbooks:
The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Recipes from an Accidental Country Girl (2009)
The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Food from My Frontier (2012)
The Pioneer Woman Cooks: A Year of Holidays (2013)
The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Dinnertime (2015)
The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Come and Get It! (2017)
The Pioneer Woman Cooks: The New Frontier (2019)
The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Super Easy (2021)
The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Dinner’s Ready! (2023)
The Pioneer Woman Cooks: The Essential Recipes (2025)
Food Network Host
Since 2011, Ree has been sharing simple, family-friendly recipes—and the occasional kitchen prank!—on her award-winning show The Pioneer Woman, filmed right on Drummond Ranch. Ree is also a regular judge on Food Network competitions, including Christmas Cookie Challenge.
Founder, The Pioneer Woman Collection
Ree has been creating and selling kitchen and home products at Walmart since 2015 and she’s involved in designing every piece and pattern. The line now includes best-selling appliances (you have to see the floral blender!), plus hundreds of pieces of cookware, tableware, and more. Ree doesn’t like to play favorites but the Agatha print has a special place in her heart.
Restaurant and Hotel Owner
Together with her husband Ladd, Ree has opened several bustling businesses in Pawhuska, Oklahoma, including The Pioneer Woman Mercantile—a bakery, restaurant, and general store that draws visitors from across the country (many come for the biscuits alone!), P-Town Pizza, Charlie’s Ice Cream Shop, and The Boarding House, a charming hotel with eight different rooms decorated by Ree and Ladd.
Media Personality
Ree appears regularly on national TV shows like Today, Good Morning America and more—all while managing to keep flour off her shirt.
Wife, Mom and…Grandma!
Ree’s kids (daughters Alex and Paige and sons Bryce and Todd) are all grown up, and as of December 2024, Ree is the proud grandma of the cutest baby ever, Sofia Scott, born to Alex and her husband Mauricio. Ree still cooks for Ladd (and the kids when they’re home), and she also looks after a few mischievous ranch dogs.
